Laughter is the best medicine...

[K-Magic-J]

1. I'm not aging, I'm marinating.

2. If I lost my head, would you tell me where I can get a new one?

3. I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here.

4. Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most.

5. Things that come to those who wait are the things nobody else wanted.

6. Ghosts were people, too.

7. Men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and all that are left are handicapped.

8. Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

9. I don't skinnydip, I chunky dunk.

10. I laugh because I don't know what's going on.

11. (S)He is only cute when I pass out.

12. I hear voices, and they don't like you.

13. Grandparents' parogitive: to sugar grandkids up and send them home to their parents.

14. Cats/dogs are like tatter chips. I can't just have one.

15. I don't age like wine. I age like grapes.

16. Men: I hit two good balls today. I stepped on a rake.

17. 3 out of 2 people do not believe in polling surveys.

18. Don't make me angry. I'm running out of room to hide dead bodies.

19. Lead us not into Temptation, just tell us where it is.

20. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

21. Smile, it confuses people.

22. I can't believe that out of a million sperm, YOU were the fastest.

23. I do whatever my drums tell me to do.

24. What happens in Richmond stays on YouTube or COPS.

25. Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies.

26. All stressed out and no one to choke.

27. Don't interrupt me while I'm talking to myself.

28. I put Ketchup on my Catsup.

29. You can agree with me or you can be wrong.

30. At my age, "getting lucky" is finding my car in the parking lot.

31. I live in my own little world, but it's okay...they know me there.

32. Keep watching...I might do a trick.